He complained and complained about the one time he didn't get to see S b/c I was busy, but it's ok for him not to see him whenever he's busy. I don't even know how he expects to see him with a D. He's for sure not going to be coming over to "visit" at my house, so he'll have to find good blocks of time (which he doesn't have or doesn't seem to currently make) in order to set up a custody schedule. I don't know how he's even going to handle it b/c he really doesn't even know S (really how much can u learn from a few hours a week). So, I don't know, that will be an interesting bridge to cross.
So, I was pretty annoyed all day, while I was sitting there and trying to comfort S as he's crying b/c he doesn't feel good, and H is out having a great time over at his bbq. Boils my blood! Of course I wouldn't change being a mommy for the world, but it's just frustrating when the person who is suppose to be your support person in all this takes no responsibility for their own son and is instead out without a care in the world while I make all the sacrifices in the world. But I guess ever since S was born he has never been there for us, so why would anything change now! Grrr.
Ok, enough venting about that. I didn't hear from H all day (another thing that was upsetting me b/c he knew how sick S was and didn't even check in) until right after I went to sleep, he finally texts to ask how S was doing. I tell him how his fever is gone now but that he has just been completely miserable all day. And the response I get back "ditto". Ok....so I ask if he got S's cold and he says that it's his alleries and asthma getting to him. I respond that it has been worse lately for him and I wonder why. And that was that. No other responses. Wow, way to turn it back around to him. It's always about him!
Ok, I guess I'm venting again, but I'm just really disappointed in him. I thought we were actually going somewhere finally, but I guess it was just a temporary phase - his thing of the moment! Our whole 9 years together, he would always get on these kicks (bicyling, snowboarding, school, internet biz, etc), get totally into it, buy all the gear or whatever, and then it would be over almost as fast as it started. I was the only constant and the only thing he stuck with. People who knew him were always surprised about us b/c that's how he was about everything. I'm sure it's an ADD thing, but I guess it became my time 2 years ago and again in these little phases now. My only sliver of hope left is that he'll do the surgery soon and find some healing and come to his senses about what's truly important in life. Otherwise our D clock is ticking.
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
