Weekend was okay. Fri. nite was the kids spring program. It was a western theme. The kids all looked great in their cowboy outfits. D6 just wanted to wear a "pretty dress" and NOT jeans and cowboy boots! With three brothers, she is still, somehow, 100% little girl. Afterwards, they have games set up in the classrooms that the kids can play. W asks: Are you going to stay and let them play games or just take them home?
M: Of course I'm going to let them play, why wouldn't I?
W: Last year you were all pissed off.
M: Do you really want to go there?
W: What?
Last year, my W's niece came with us. S, who was had just turned 3 had got stung by a bee or wasp or something and would not walk. W "had" to help with a cake walk that the school board puts on, so it was me with 5 kids to watch. Our two older boy and niece were okay on their own for a while. I had D5 and S3 with me while W was with her SB buddies without a care in the world. D5 wanted to play games and S3 cried the entire time. He would not get down, I had to carry him the entire time. After an hour of this, I had had enough. It took me half an hour to round all of the kids up and we went in the gym to tell W we were leaving. Couldn't find her, so we just left.
We got home and got ready for bed. S3 was still crying. I put medicine on his foot and held him in the chair to try to get him to sleep. W called about an hour later. Where did we go, how come we didn't tell her we were leaving? WTF! She then says, she's going to stay and help clean up and then go have a few beers. Don't remember what time she got home, but yeah, I was pissed.
Anyway, that's what she was referring to. I never get tired of the B.S. from her.
I bought the kids some tickets and went and played the games. They won all sorts of little prizes and were as happy as Christmas time! And Mom missed it all, once again. She got home a little after 11:00.
Our boys served at church again on Sun. They were so proud of themselves! I was too.
W went out after work Sun. She gets off at noon. At 6:00, I told the kids to get in the truck, we were going out to eat. We got home @7:30 and W was asleep on couch. I got the kids showered and ready for bed. She woke up for a minute and asked where we had been. I put the kids in bed and showered. Went in, turned the TV off and went to bed. She woke up a few minutes later and came to bed.
I'm getting to the point that I don't care. Boundaries mean nothing to her. A few beers means several hours. The kids and I go about our day and have a good time without her. Of course, they ask when Mom will be home. I answer them honestly, "I don't know."
I wish she would leave, but she won't. My wife is gone. I have tried to make concequenses for her actions, but, short of me leaving, what can I do? I have told her she needs to leave, I have told her if she can't be home before midnight she can stay gone. If she can't call, stay wherever she is. I know I need to tell her to sleep on the couch. I guess that would be a starting point.
It's so frustrating. At least I'm past the grieving stage, I'm just mad.
I need to make her face the consequenses of her actions. I know. It would be easier without the kids. Trying to strike a balance.
