My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Deep]

I don't post here that much any more (partly due to sleep deprivation *grin*) but I hope you don't mind if I chime in a bit Dan.

Take a look at the last few posts if nothing else. What Sandi said about the advice not sinking in and making / sticking to a plan are basic and powerful pointers.

It's unbelievable how low an LBS can sink, and I think you're well on your way there. That's not an insult by the way, I've been there. You're even trying to justify to US that W is not a horrible woman. Well, whatever, but she is behaving horribly now.

If you go through many of the threads here, you'll realise your best recourse may be to accept and embrace the fact that you're already a dead man walking. Marriage is a two party deal and your W has checked out a long time ago. You're not "giving her up". She's not your possession and she is lost to you right now whether you like it or not.

Quit being a victim, be a man. Be a better man for yourself, not what you think your W may see, or what may please her. Your W has to at least start to respect you again if you are to have any chance. That respect has to be RECLAIMED and clawed back. She's not going to hand it over to you on a platter. Passive behaviour is not going to help. Being a doormat is not going to help. Letting her actions and words dictate your own is not. Trying to convince her you love her is not. Making excuses is not. Asking for advice and letting your emotions rule you anyway is not.

You may love your W, but love yourself first. Irrespective of who she is to you, would you let someone totally disrespect you, your family, your honor, spit in your face, trample on you, and go back for more? Be the man that she will completely regret having driven away. Treat her with compassion when the time is right sure, but for now be confident of your self-worth and dignity. You're a MAN, someone decent. intelligent women want.

You don't respect yourself, don't expect her to. And if she doesn't respect you, your chances are like that white cold ball of ice in a very, very hot place.

It's not easy, many here know that. It's darn hard. Chances of failure are high. Even if you succeed in the end, it's a long, long, painful road. But please think about that first step you are taking. Good luck!