reconciliation after divorce?

[DaddyLongShanks]

What is wrong with saying that he is "moving on"? What did you do different in your sitch? Did she want to treat you as a "friend", a "best friend"? I think that my sitch will definitely end in D and there is OM and she is going to go be with him, similar to your sitch. I did something similar with my W as "any chance", what is wrong with that in your opinion?

Thanks!

I guess to me, stating that you are moving on to a WAS, especially this early in the game and the circumstances that got the M to this point, you are basically saying to them "yeah I cheated on you, you weren't good enough then, and now, I don't want to do anything to prove I am worthy of continuing to be your H/W, so yeah go ahead and divorce me, you're not good enough now and worth fighting for". It's kind of a slap in the face after you've already bludgened someone to the ground.

Did my (x)W want to treat me as "friend". Oh, yeah. We were supposed to be best buddies, while she my wife carried on her life with someone else, and "who knows, maybe we would have grown to love each other again wouldn't that be great?". Ummmm, no, I don't think so.

I refused to live in a open marriage, apologized for my faults, and let her on her merry little way with little fight.

She'd try to extend the "friendship branch" every 3-4 months, all the while silently begging for my help. And each time, it would be rejected on the account that I will not be friends with my actively adultres wife. And I will not have an A with my W to end her A on me.

LOL, we are their reliable backup or source of comfort in a terrible world.

[Ken62]

DD:
I appreciate you trying to deter me from giving up. I am not going to do that, but I am also not going to sit around expecting her to see the light and come running back. I am going to GAL and move forward. W is very, very messed up right now, and I will be there for her when she needs me. I have loved this woman for a long time, and that is not going to go away, D or no D. I am not going to sit by while she EA/PA's with OM as she is getting her D in order. I need to get my life back, with or without her.

Wow Any Chance?, it sounds like we are coming from the same place. My D is coming up and yours is in limbo but we both feel the same way about our W and about ourselves. I wish you the best of luck!

[any chance?]

Hang in there, Ken. Keep the faith, and believe in yourself. We will make it through this, despite the ugliness, hurt and massive pain. Maybe the W will see the light, maybe not. Completely out of our control. Move forward with your life. Neither of us have any choice.

[any chance?]

Feeling pretty low. The revelation that my W is in contact with the OM and has been for 3 weeks while she was asking me for a D has hit pretty hard. Says she needed a friend. Yeah, right.

She still has not filed for D. Says she can't pick up the phone. She is very depressed. She may come to a MC session with me this week, but I think more for closure than saving the marriage. I can't figure out where her head is, and I am not sure she knows.

I am trying not to fall into a major funk. Trying to GAL, but doing a really bad job. I need some positive news - everything has been negative for months. Very much feel like giving up. Very bad head space.

[lees]

What has been positive in your own life this week?

You have to ignore what they're up to and make sure you have good experiences to draw on in times like this.

I know it's tricky, and I'm rubbish at it too, but it's the only way to save yourself for whatever the future holds.

[any chance?]

Very low weekend. W is locked in her apartment, in a major depression. I am letting her be, not trying to contact her, as much as I want to.

Beginning to feel what being D is going to feel like. How do you folks manage to hold onto hope, when it feels like all is lost?

[any chance?]

I need to do something. I am obsessing about the OM since finding out W has turned back to him last Thursday. They have been in contact for about a month, if not longer. She is in a really bad mental place, major depression, and I don't think she is thinking clearly. She was supposed to come over today, but blew it off because she didn't want to leave her APT. We are supposed to have MC tomorrow, but I bet she backs out. I know I am supposed to be patient and GAL, but I am going crazy.

[any chance?]

W spent weekend locked in APT, talking to know one. Her mental spiral continues. We are supposed to MC today....do I encourage her? We are supposed to see my family this weekend...do I encourage that? Or do I just leave her be and GAL? Thoughts would be most appreciated...I am in a downward spin, to be sure.

[dday101798]

Thanks for everything and if you can look in on my sitch I would appreciate it.

No problem. Where's your thread?

[Ken62]

Thanks for everything and if you can look in on my sitch I would appreciate it.

No problem. Where's your thread?

The link is in my signature. Thanks!