I believe you are still in shock over the actions of your W and the advice you've been given hasn't really sunk in, as of yet. It is normal to hope that everything will work out, but it won't work out unless you take charge. Being passive will not work and you have not gone past that concept yet.

Quote:
I just want my wife back so I can prove to her I can be the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.


I understand what you mean,but this intent is pouring through your behavior as a "desparate" man and it turns her off. She is the one having an A. She is the wayward spouse. Don't run after her, pleading with her to give you a chance to prove your love.

I know you think your story is extraordinary, but every LBH loves his W the way you love yours. Every LBH feels by his kids the way you do. You do not have to convince us how much you love them. Neither can this be an exception or an excuse for not following good advice.

You must decide what the deal breaker is for your M and you must stick to a plan and not be back and forth with it. As much as it hurts, you have to face the fact that your W has left you for another man. Just b/c she is still in the same house does not mean she hasn't emotionally left you. So, face the fact that this MR is over. If you handle things the way you are advised, there is a good chance that a new MR will be possible with the same woman. But you have to see things as they really are and take charge instead of sitting down, wondering "why" she is doing this. Are you ready to listen and to follow through?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!