So my H did what someone earlier in the thread said is typical - in exchange for legal separation, he said he would agree in that agreement, to go to MC. I stupidly fell for it, got him in MC, thought we were working on things - he made many comments about this although he continued to fence sit, it was "if we reconsile" all the way.
Boom, the legal separation is finalized, boom, there's been another woman all along.
He didn't leave the marriage for her, he found her after he moved out. However, he made sure he got the legal separation date moved to the exact date he moved out so that when he met her a few months later and was dating, it was "legal". I feel I was completely lied to and swindled.
SO any advice? IT wasn't an affair per se as he had already moved out. HOwever, I wasn't notified until a year after he moved out.
Well what would you do differently? I mean, it seems like your H wanted out and was in the mindset to find someone else. Have you done anything to show that you've "moved on"?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
The thing is Hope4Luv, he didn't TELL you he was involved with anyone... THAT shows that HE recognizes it as an affair too... why keep it secret if its all well and good?
People keep these things a secret for a REASON... because they KNOW they are hurting someone and crossing the line... It's a selfish act... Their attitude is "I know it's wrong, but I want it anyway!"
Well considering he said we would go to MC for "one last try" I stupidly believed him. Now he says it was up to me to "Prove I was better than her". I"m still in shock - it's only been a couple of weeks, and I basically collapsed. I went dim (we share a little sons) and have stopped spending time with H. But I admit I"m lousy at moving on!
He expects you to openly compete with OW for his attention?
THAT is a new one on me! I haven't heard that one on this forum before.. I know its implicit in infidelity, but I don't recall ever hearing of a WS openly inform their LBS that they are expected to do this... THAT is nerve and then some!
Allen, you must have not read some of my posts that I wrote on threads you and I were both posting on then. I specifically said that when my H told me about his A he initially said that he wanted to carry on with both OW and me,( for what was to be about three months), whilst he decided who he wanted to be with. That would be a direct competition, no?
I refused - the only person who wins in that sitch is the cheating S - even the OW is having to jump through hoops; meanwhile the cheating b*st*rd gets to lap up all that lurrrrvin'
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
