This is the kind of stuff you both shouldn't be doing. It's no longer her or your place to judge each other or critique your parenting. If she wants to end the marriage, she needs to look for validation elsewhere, and you shouldn't be doing that.
I know... this was in response to me telling her how disgusted I was about her proposal. I implied that she was not a good mom in the things I said. So, I guess at the moment I saw it as a fair thing to ask afirmation for.
Originally Posted By: karen43
Quote:
- but - what a WASTE. I do wish I could have been a better man - wiser, stronger, more supportive, more in touch, whatever it was, whatever my part was. Squandered.
I've had those kind of thoughts too, but how I try to deal with those is realize you can't change the past; you did the best you could at the time. You realize you have issues to work on, so take that energy about thinking of the past and use it instead to focus on making those changes now. Make yourself the better man today and every day. I also think none of us are perfect, we all maybe focus too much on the kids or work or whatever, but our spouses don't all go off and have affairs. So don't beat yourself up.
I'm realizing that I suppose. Thanks for saying this, it helps reinforce my thinking. It's funny, I'm much more the man right now that STBXW wanted to be married to. That part is frustrating. But if there's an upside to all this, I'm taking a lot of positive from this experience.
