V1olin's new life without wife

[v1olin]

Well, I just sent an email to w about our divorce and it went like this...

Wife,

I want to know the status of our divorce. I want it to be over with, is there anything I can do to help get it done? Let me know.
Viol1n




We will see what she says...

[v1olin]

She did not have much to say about it other than, " hey I talked to my lawyer and she said we could sign the papers by friday if x,y and z were done!" She sounded very upbeat about it.


Soooo, I decided I had enough of Divorce Busting. One year of trying is enough for me. ONE WEEK after I made this decision I strated talking to someone in my divorce support group for children. We had our first date on the 22nd and it was great! Turned into a 6 hour date with 5 hours of it being talking. There was a 1.5 hour movie in there too!

Funny how things work when you make a decision.

[gucci loafer]

Yea. It is funny isn't it..

Good job. Plenty of fish in the sea more than willing to treat you right.

[v1olin]

You are right Gucci! We are going out again on friday.

[Awoken]

Hi v1olin,

Just started catching up on your thread(s). I've read many of your posts in newcomers, and was curious how you were doing.

This thread of yours starts saying "my marriage will come to an end legally in 3 to 4 weeks." It always takes longer. You are much farther along than me, and you seem to be doing so well.

[v1olin]

Yeah well, now that the w has to split her 401k, pension, and IRA she is not so willing to have end quickly. She aslo has to refinance the house at her expense. I stuck by her side for over a year and she has not once intitiated any contact with me except for kid business only. Atleast she has clear boundaries right? Oh well.

I have read your story Awoken and I feel for you so much. I can see that you are a strong man though and you will do just fine. I started getting much better when I focused on my job and my kids. I suggest you do the same.


This new woman respects me for fighting for my marriage, not taking any crap, talking about my thoughts, and being a MAN in general. By the time my wife wakes up(if ever)I will be looooong gone.

[v1olin]

I forget how it started but I had a little conversation via text with my stbxw 2 nights ago. It went something like this...


Me: I am starting a new business soon and I have some investors already.

W: That is awesome news! Will you be renting violins or working with schools?

Me: I will be a manufacturer and I will be selling violins that I varnish to shops for a wholesale price.

W: That is really awesome! WOW! I am so glad that you have found other avenues for your business.

Me: You gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to change.

W: I am so sorry... I may never be guilt free but I hope someday that everyone will be happy.

Me: I am sorry too. I was wasting my talent, my family, and my life. I will keep that with me always...

W: It is like you are alive again.


There were a couple other small things said before we said goodbye but I cant remember what they were. I have erased the texts so I cant go back and read them. She seems to notice my new self but does not initiate contact of any kind. She is just done, done, done.


Now, I have something else to share here. I slept with another woman a couple weeks ago and I am starting to have some guilt about it. Is this normal after all my Wife has done? Shouldn't I be allowed to sleep with someone else after all this?

[v1olin]

Oh, and the big D seems to be stahling out. Wife tells me that she talks to her lawyer a couple times a week to get them to hurry up but still no movement.

[LolaL]

It is normal.

After waiting for two years, over the summer I had a fling.

I felt guilty the first time. As a matter of fact, sometimes now, even thinking about moving on, still makes me feel like I am cheating.

I guess that fades with healing.

[v1olin]

Thanks LolaL, I feel like I want her to do something to me to get me to hate her for real. I don't want to feel guilty about it but I dont want to be held captive by her either.