I really can't compete. The OW grew up with my W. She knew her mom (who died young). She has a son and wants another kid (I can't though am willing, but not enthusiastic, to adopt.) She has a lucrative, stable job (I'm changing careers to one that earns less.) She is not planning on moving any time soon (I have to move in order to get work in my new career.) and the kicker? I've never broken up with my W so there is no redemption in getting back together, the OW did break up with her 20 years ago...
Comparing ourselves to other people is the number one reason for low self esteem. None of those things you mentioned matter to them when someone loves you. Stop comparing yourself. It leads to nothing.
Don't move closer to your mother yet. It isn't wise to plan moving far away while in the middle of a crisis in your life.
