I'm taking off my ring April 9

[AmyBel]

Thinking about the idea of gathering intelligence on the OW.

I really can't compete. The OW grew up with my W. She knew her mom (who died young). She has a son and wants another kid (I can't though am willing, but not enthusiastic, to adopt.) She has a lucrative, stable job (I'm changing careers to one that earns less.) She is not planning on moving any time soon (I have to move in order to get work in my new career.) and the kicker? I've never broken up with my W so there is no redemption in getting back together, the OW did break up with her 20 years ago...

Should I just carry forward toward my future as though W doesn't exist? (e.g. move closer to my Mom, move all my stuff, separate our finances, legally separate...) Even though W hasn't made that decision yet?

I'm thinking "yes" though it feels like it will be closing a door that is still open a crack... I can't imagine her deciding to get back together with me once I'm on the other side of the country... I'm not sure I can imagine mySELF trying to put things back together at that point...