Piecing with PATIENCE

[totite]

Hi. Well my back is feeling better after a fabulous 45 minute massage yesterday from my neighbor (the massage therapy student).

It was 60 degrees today and my dad and I raked, mowed and fertilized the yard. Yipee - all ready for winter! So I blew off the flylady stuff inside today, but spent 8 hours outside with tons of accomplishments!

I also laid out the edging for the skating rink I hope to have in the backyard for the kids. Hopefully we will get enough snow to do it this year.

My H and I haven't talked at all about my tears last week - oh well. He had a meeting last night and called at 11 p.m. to see what I was doing (sleeping but didn't tell him that). He asked if I would give him a backrub and since he has given me several of late, I said sure.

He came over and we watched TV for a bit and then I took him into the bedroom for a backrub. It didn't last 45 minutes - more like 10-15. But then we loosened up further with some healthy .

At one point, he asked me what I was thinking. I usually say nothing, but this time I said "I want you here all of the time, I want to be able to be with you any time, I want to be able to kiss you any time - I miss kissing you". He didn't say anything, but also didn't grab his clothes and run away either.

Today I also cleaned up part of 3rd stall of garage - which I know scored big points with H whan he saw it. Of course, the garage was conveniently open when he arrived to pick up kids tonight . He is getting ready to go deer hunting this weekend and need some things from garage, which I offered to get out while he had kids.

H is meeting a friend here early Friday to leave for hunting. Since he will be here Thursday evening packing his truck and leaving early Friday, I may suggest a slumber party for the two of us... - I'll play it by ear as always.

So, patience continues to be the key word in my life still.

Only with your help and encouragement can I do this.

Thanks - a simple word - but one from my heart!

[psluke]

So how do you have a skating rink in your backyard?

I think it sounds like you are making wonderful progress with H.

This way he has what you told him about missing him and wanting to be with him in his head to mull over as he has time. I think it is good that you shared that with him. This way there is no confusion that you would like him to be home with his family.

Good luck on the slumber party!!! Might be a way of easing back in to spending some nights at the house.

I think you are doing an awesome job with the PATIENCE!!!!!!

[Dagny]

I'm also curious about the backyard skating rink. And I think outside work should count towards the flylady stuff! Expecially that much work.

I think we need to state our wants and needs every bit--it is even part of DR--ask for what you want. But as Pam said, now it is time for him to mull it over. He didn't run, the stayed and is hopefully thinking about what you said. So continue along the path you are on and keep drawing from that incredible reserve of patience you have.

Jackie

[love_endures4ever]

Hi {{{{{{{{{Totite,}}}}}}}}}}}}

Just stopping by say Hi. Sounds like you're doing AWESOME and that you have a hunting guy, also. Where exactly is your H living right now...I'm too lazy to go back and look.

Cathy

[totite]

Hi Pam, Jackie and Cathy.

Yes, I am planning to put a skating rink in my back yard. It will let my D8 practice her hockey any time she wants and gives me the chance to get S5 and S3 out on the ice.

I played hockey as a kid and my dad put a rink in our yard every winter. When my brother and I both played hockey, he even put boards, netting and lights up just like a hockey rink.

So, since our winters haven't cooperated with large amounts of snow lately, I am resorting to putting landscaping edging in a large rectangle with rounded corners. Then after we get a couple of inches of snow I will go out and pat it down for my base. Then I will go out in the freezing temps every night and use the hose or buckets of water and slowly build up the ice. Once it is skateworthy, I will simply clean it off after each use and put a layer of water on late at night to fill in the rough spots.

It is a lot of work, but worth it. My H didn't show much interest in the past, but his attitude about other things has changed so we'll see. Otherwise I will do it myself. My dad will help if needed as he loves to make himself useful and is excited to see the kids skate. As a kid, my dad didn't get to skate, because he lived on a farm and one time they went skating on the creek and a neighbor fell through the ice and died - so no more skating. He really enjoys doing things like this for the kids so he is just a call away if I need him.

Cathy - my H moved out at the end of July and is living in a 2-bedroom apartment about 3 miles from here. He has two beds in the one room for the boys and a pull-out couch, along with his own bed. (I have been over there twice for some quality time with H )

I doubt I will see H tonight after all. I called him at work earlier because we have to decide on our benefits for next year - they are through his job. He is in the finance area and it is their month-end close date so he will be there late. It is even more important for him to get it done as he is leaving early Friday for deer hunting.

I emailed him apologizing for the interuption (although an email is another interuption isn't it?!?!?) and offered to fill out the benefit forms if he brings them over.

I also let him know that I baked some chicken for dinner and he could stop and get some later if he wanted. He is doing the low-carb thing and has lost at least 50# since leaving. He looks great!

So, if I am able to talk to him later when the kids call him, I will suggest the slumber party for tomorrow night - depending on his tone, of course.

Patience, patience, patience...

[Dagny]

Wow, 50# since July is very impressive, as is your patience. Everything sounds so positive with you.

On non-DBing matters, does the skating rink ruin your grass or do you just dismantle in the spring? I'm in PA and I think it is doable enough in the winter and very intrigued by the idea of skating in the back yard, I think the boys would love it and it sounds like great exercise! How very clever of you (and your Dad)!

Jackie

[totite]

Hi Jackie. Man- I have to get off the computer - I have to give the kids their tubs.

Regarding the rink, my grass is fine underneath because when the spring thraw begins, I go out and chop it up a bit to speed up the melting process. The sun will melt anything dark under or in the ice, so if you break a few holes in it so the grass shows, the sun will melt those spots. Then you just go out every once in a while and break it up some more.

On the flip side, when you are starting out, do your best to get all of the leaves and twigs, etc. out of the chosen area, as when you are doing your initial layers, the sun will also melt the ice around those objects causing holes. I go out every day and sweep off any stuff that has blown onto the ice.

It is fun - great exercise (both the maintenance of the rink and the skating) - and I think your boys are old enough to help with it. I know that my D8 will help and the boys may too.

Not only has my H lost almost 50#, but I have lost 30# myself. We are looking good - if I do say so myself.

And per Oprah's instructions on Monday, I am seeking the inner sexpot. What fun! She said that all of the old lady undies have to go and be replaced by sexy stuff. I told H this the other night while we were getting cozy and he just LOL. He knows that I don't watch Oprah that much, but happened to have it on while working on computer. They actually showed ordinary women how to pole dance and gave them lingerie makeovers. But I digress....

Have a great night.

[Dagny]

30# is great, I have about 50# to go. Was doing a good job and then Halloween and feeling sorry for myself got the better of me.

I need to check out Oprah, that sounds like fun!

Jackie

[psluke]

Hi totite,

Just wondering if your sleep over worked out or not!

Hope things are going well for you still.

[totite]

HI gang. Just a few seconds to post as I have to run to a meeting across town. Didn't have a sleep over but he did come over for some quality time and fun together before heading back to his apartment to pack. Then he was back here at 7 a.m. to meet a few of the guys to go hunting.

As he was leaving I asked him to think of me and that I'd miss him. I also asked him to spend some of his deerstand time thinking about coming home and that the kids and I both would love it. I also said that our anniversary was a week away and I can't imagine not spending it together. He smiled and said - "I hear you" and then drove off.

So we won't see him until Tuesday and depending on cell-phone towers, may not talk to him either. Kind of a forced "going dim" - which may serve me and the kids well as he will miss us too. One can only hope that great things will happen upon his return.

Picked up my horoscope this morning at Cainer.com and check it out - the last portion certainly reinforces the patience that I have learned in this process!

"Great leaders know how to take orders as well as how to give them. Great communicators know how to listen as well as how to talk. Great entertainers are as eager to be amused as to create amusement. All the best processes, are "two-way." But, of course, inwardly, secretly, we all only ever want things to go one way. Our way. Lately, you have been obliged to give way. You may resent this, but it will yet become part of the reason why everything soon starts to go the right way."

Will be by later to check and see how everyone is doing!