Thought stopping? I suck at it. And guess what? I am suffering by it. Not H (ok, maybe I make him suffer a bit too when I spin downwards).
Please sit down and identify all the reasons you are hurting. Write them down. Then post them and lets look at them together. K
OK,
Neg thoughts: No more vacations as a family (my family of origin never went on vacations) MIssing S when H takes him over night or on vacation Jealousy of OW - what's she got that I aint got? How intense or not are his feelings for her (yet I refuse to ask)is this temporary or for good? Hurt that he won't forgive and work on our problems. Anger that I've turned around his prior complaints about me and worked to change and he still dumped me Anger that he lied that we were working on our M when he was buying time until the legal sep was signed. DOesn't want to look at himself or any ways to fix M Raising my son in a broken home (my biggest fear - my parents went through hell but they never gave up on each other) Anger that H is willing to blame all on me, get another girl and hide his head in the sand Lonely Feeling rejected and abandoned All the cruel things H has said to me with no understanding how much it hurts - and then blames me for the things I"ve said and done in anger (yes, I've done many) His conceit, condecention, and refusal to budge His ease with which he walked away and thought we could just be friends without concern for what this is doing to me and S This is the person who vowed to love me through thick and thin. It's been pretty thick at times, downright hellish, but I never thought he'd throw in the towel. I'm just in shock. HIs assertion that because there is pain from the past, nothing will ever change - refusal to consider otherwise. Knowing things could work out between us and feeling abandoned by someone who is scared and angry. His conviction that raising a small child in two homes is not a big deal. His preference to go to parties and have a gf rather than stay commited to his marriage.
