Completely Blindsided

[blind]

Thanks ninelives, nice to know I'm not completely alone in this... in some ways. I hate to think that there are other people going through the same thing... So damn much pain.

[quote=blind]

. . . and as long as she knows this, and this is what you are projecting, you will never, ever get her back.

You know puppy, initially I would have told you just how wrong you are.... but then I don't know what right is... and after our chat this morning (4th time since the bomb dropped) I knew that you're right.

From what I can tell, she's going through an early mid life crisis - says she is still in love with me, but likes the feeling of going somewhere and not having a time to come home by (not that I ever was controlling or oppressive of where she could go or when... the opposite in fact!).... she likes the idea of going out and partying etc.

The thing is, a lot of the 'going out and seeing people' comes from what WE SET IN PLACE... we knew that she'd get lonely, so we arranged for lots of people to keep her busy. I'm hoping that what will happen is she will spend a week or two doing this before realising how lonely that lifestyle is.

... either way, I know that I've got to focus on me.

I've taken her points on board, but even regardless of that, if she does end up leaving me, I need to make sure I'm a complete and whole person - not that I'm NOT currently, but all of my plans and goals are intertwined with OUR plans and goals... and I need to get myself into a place where it won't matter either way.

Oh, and it's definitely not the visa issue. She's planning on not coming here at all now...

I don't want to lose her, and she is still willing to talk to me (planned on saying 1 week, but changed her mind to 2 days... so that's something... I think)... so there's still some kind of hope... but she's made it very clear that she doesn't think I will ever be able to change.