Start of the end..

[iwantittowork]

End of the week journaling...

Met with stbxw for signing documents, and it was fast and efficient.. "Sign here, here, here, k, bye"

She had the new toys covered up, I pretended she felt guilty about dropping +8k on strap ons while crushing me financially, which seemed to please my subconscious warped mine, so whatever works, eh?

At any rate, went to party yesterday, and had a good time. Something did happen that had me thinking and thinking down on myself. Woman there that I was immediately attracted to, but over the course of the night, she was immediately attracted to and left with someone else..

That bugs me, and then it bugs me that it bugs me, capiche? I am OK now, just at times you wonder what it is that makes attraction between people, and why the heck I can't seem to make it work for me???

Oh well, enough with the pity party on my bruised ego, spending the night with d9 and another living room pizza party before I am off vacation and back to the grind tomorrow, and have to take d9 back to school tomorrow..

Oh, and tomorrow is d-day mark +1 year anniversary, I remember that day like it was yesterday..

Throughout the day, I have been working hard on mindfully watching and feeling my emotions through all this, so I am ok, and understand the down, up, sad, etc, and whole lotta others..

Another day to grow... Back to one of Dr. David Schnarch comments that I come back to frequently..

"You must be able to tolerate discomfort for growth"

Ain't that a doozy and so true....