[Gardener]

As always, G-woman is candid as hell and right as rain.

But for the Board - does the lying ever stop?

I don't think it comes down to 'lying'. My divorcing spouse no longer had my back. He no longer had my best interests at heart.

A civil (or not so civil) demeanor evolved with face to face conversations in order to facilitate the best outcome for him. If that didn't work, he'd manipulate, threaten and bully to meet his objectives (traits which helped him excel in business). When alone, he (as did I) vented with friends the true feelings and frustrations based on core emotions.

And that's why, at least for me, it was very difficult during the divorce when the former spouse put forth objectives which triggered my sense of us being a team, working together for a common good (which I associated with a positive aspect of our marriage). And I continually, repetitively learned that that was not the case. I was no longer his emotional confidant. I was someone he wanted out of his life because of all the "pain and misery" I caused him.

Duh.

To each their own perspective.

My mantra was that I was a good caring person going into the divorce, and I was going to be good and caring coming out of the divorce.

And I found that the man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with was truly an adversary, and pulled no punches when his sense of entitlement was threatened.

That was my experience.

Change the genders in the above, and that was/is my experience exactly.