Yes, PM has affected every aspect of my beliefs about R and myself. In some parts just a little bit, in others more.
I had an issue -I still struggle with- with my body. Very self concious. Even when I was 47 kilos, with tits tlooked at the sky, great a$$, good skin skin, etc etc. I was feeling...not good enough. That I should be perfect. This is my mom. No matter how good I did to school, languages, etc I could have been better. Therefor Words of confirmation are my LL. That's why after the initial lust period I would get very worried, my lovers didnt like me. And instead of being less reserved with time, I became more...prudent/shy. Now, you can imagine how that worked with H and 5-6 kilos extra, plus a belly that wont go away.
Now, I try to remember that I am...as I am supposed to be. I am almost 40 and of course I could look better but I like myself. The OW got me into a spin to compare myself with her. But, I am what I am. And if he donsnt like me, fine. Others will. (that's what I think when I get nervous)
I see him noticing. I like surprising him. I still am reserved for other reasons. I refuse to do things I read she did to him, because I feel some parts of his body are contaminated. There I said it. Sad but true. Also, I realised, certain "tricks" I am witholding. But at least I am doing it on purpose.LOL K
