I would suggest that you continue doing what you are doing and to sit quietly and patiently. If you can remain patient and allow God to do his work, things will be revealed to you one by one. When we tend to struggle and/or try to take control over the situation, we cannot see clearly and create more struggle for ourselves.
Allow your spouse to come to you, listen to him, validate his thoughts/feelings, etc. and above all else, follow his lead.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
