I just got blamed in another thread "MrBond" in the OfficerInNeed thread for cheating on my wife. He was saying "aren't you the one who cheated on her, and now that the shoe is on the other foot you are P.O.d".
I explained to him that I have never cheated on my wife or been in an inappropriate situation.
My wife has also had debit cards, etc. I know I'm not putting funds on them and have had to wonder if there is some helpful "OM" doing this.
LSG, on your wife getting progressively mean and rude to you. While they are cheating you and embellishing in it, they are building up a ego that actually does not like you. It will attack you, and as you see through her treatment and communication. Its getting worse and you didn't do anything, but in this case be innocent and she knows it.
I went ahead and started doing marriage councelling. My wife unloaded a laundry list on me, I got most of the points down on paper though. I did not get to respond because the session ended. I will respond in the next session if she participates.
Remember this, no matter how bad the spouse gets. There are others out there who will be happy to be with you, and WILL NOT want to get over on you. Remember that to keep your security.
on the OM, you have to find a way to blow that open. Its good for the self esteem and will be an instantaneous reversal. Plus the longer the relationship goes on, the worse things will be for you.
LSG,
I talked with MrBond in the other thread. What he pointed out is that I cheated on my ex to get with my current wife. That he wanted me to think from the perspective of a wayward spouse, in what it would take to get through.
It is very hard to talk with a wayward spouse. In their mind it is already made up. They're doing what they "want" to do.
In thinking about it from the wayward position, the best communication you can do is non-verbal. Plus in my particular situation in my past relationshpi where I was the wayward.
The BEST thing that could have been done and about the only thing that would have worked was an "affair bursting".
You see with no girlfriend at the time, I would be forced to look at the situation. It would have been cheaper and less painful not to mention much safer to just take my ass home. This is the position most of us are in now.
I am now standing by affair bursting as a huge and effective way, if you are going to have a chance with your spouse. Its an affair bursting along with bursting anything that your spouse is doing thats "on the edge" ( drugs, stealing, criminal or ethical misgivings, etc ).
The 180 and GAL is for us LBS's so that we can build up strength and restore confidence in the face of sure demise. I'm not real confident in the "better option" technique, but it is good to do it for yourself.
We have to find a way to burst affairs and the desireability in them.
