Past several years I made her feel insecure about her body and the way she looks. Sometimes I made her feel disgusted in who she is and what she looks like. Although we were a very intimate couple once the intimate period ended I was back to degrading her...
This seems an impossible hurdle to cross. What made you think this was acceptable behavior?
If she was treating you poorly for 10 years what would you have done?
I never thought it was acceptable, I always regretted saying the things I said right after saying them. The heat of the moment would consume me and I would say a lot of hurtful things. This was not how I truly felt. I had insecurities in myself and took them out on her, in attempts to bring her down to my level of low self esteem.
I always seen my W as a beautiful woman and did express this to her as often as I could...At this point my W does not remember those times only the bad. I use to stand or sit beside her as she was getting ready to go to work or if we were heading out and say to her "You are so beautiful, you have gorgeous eyes" or other things along those lines and her response would always be "I'm yours" with a great big smile...
My W does not recall those times or if she does it causes her resentment to build up more because of the other times when I would be little her.
I go the help I needed to improve my self esteem issues and insecurities. The help I received has enabled me to see my W in a way I never thought possible, she truly is a beautiful woman.
OfficerInNeed,
Many times when they have cheated us, the mind flips. So that they will only remember the bad, the small details that can be used against you. I'm sure both of you had a great non-verbal affirmation in the past, and now its gone and replaced with "hardness".
The question is how can you allow her to flip it back, so that she can focus on the goodness?
