Sorry your H is acting so childish. It's more or less what I expected.. he really is selfish I know...
The qustion for you is when did the selfishness start?
Is the affair causing this or has he always been like this?
I really don't reccomend you expose yourself to him in private... always try to ahve a friend with you until he starts showing some consideration... right now he's completely self-involved.
4luv's husband did the same thing...calling his new apt his "bachelor pad".. its passive abuse in my opinion.