Reconnecting can begin in replay, but the full reconnection will not take place w/the op in the picture. Usually you will begin to see stronger signs of reconnection after the depression/withdrawal stages. It sounds like your spouse is still very much in replay if she's on dating sites. She may consider you a friend or someone to pal around w/right now. You are safe and she doesn't feel comfortable in asking someone else. Even though there is more eye contact and they are friendlier, it could be moments of clarity and nothing more. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but she's not in full reconnection mode yet.
One of the things everyone needs to remember is that full reconnection takes place in the opposite order of when they went into crisis. For example, going into crisis, you are the first to be cut out of their lives, family, pets and co-workers are next, etc. Reconnection begins w/co-workers, family, pets and then you. They become more aware and interested in their surroundings and then in what you, the spouse have and are doing. You will be the last one in the chain for full reconnection. Just as they become the exact opposites, so shall their journey to and from the Land of Oz.
If you are seeing more interaction, then treat them as you would a friend, no expectations! Continue doing what you've been doing. Keep focusing on you and your family...that's very important. The old saying "a watched pot never boils"...that is so very true in mlc....
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
