... I found this place from a google search, and have tried to look around at other's stories for the last day or so now...
Look, I'm really surprised to be here... but any voice I can get that helps... well, you know.
I've had the perfect marriage. My wife and I have been together for 7 years, married for 5. We met in Aus, but when her visa was up, I followed her to the UK where we wed and lived together.
I was happy, she was happy... WE were happy.
We'd planned on moving back here, and decided this year was the time to do it.
I come first, getting things set up, while we wait for her visa and the settling up of our things over there.
That was 6 weeks ago. 2 days ago she said that a week ago she cheated on me with 'some guy from work' after going out for work drinks.... beyond that, she's said that she's realised that she doesn't miss me and doesn't want to work at our relationship, and goodbye.
.... when she told me, I panicked.... but then became instantly calm. Look, the thing is, we've never argued. We've never really even bickered. We've loved each other so much... when I left, and for the fist few weeks I was away, she professed undying love and how much she misses me.
She's also known that I hate cheating... had an ex gf do it to me, and I really hate it. She's said she's done it so that I wouldn't try and fight for us.
The thing is... when I became calm, I knew this, and instantly started fighting for us. I know she still loves me, and I love her some amazingly and completely.... I will do anything to get her back by my side.
But it's just such a character change. I don't get it, and a lot of me doesn't believe it.
She's citing things like me being 'always unhappy' and 'unable to lose weight' (I'm mildly overweight, but it's going fast) as the reasons... and that's what also sticks out as hard to understand... going from very happy to mild problems being enough to call it quits?
I agree with the issues, and have told her that I want to work on my character flaws - I've lost nearly 2 stone in these last 6 weeks (pulling me down to a muscular 15stone)... and the other things I've gone through and talked about ways to work on them... with her help.
I... I just don't fully understand what's happened. I had NO IDEA she was unhappy. I had no idea that she would ever do something like this, always saying that divorce is not an option, and she would always work at any problems that would come up.
I'm trying to talk to her daily... well, it's been 2 days now, so not the longest time. She's been talking to me, and saying that she's confused, and at least what I've had to say to her (including instantly understanding the cheating and forgiving her for it) has made her think.... and she needs time to think without me 'confusing her more'.
I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Can anyone tell me of a similar experience? This rapid personality change? I want to save my marriage so badly... I'm just feeling very powerless... especially as thanks to volcanic ash, I can't afford to go back there at the moment!... and she's told me not to come even if I could because she doesn't want me there confusing her.
If someone can... please help. I know I sound cliche`d, but she means the world to me... I really feel like she's a part of my soul, and I can't imagine a life without her...and I don't want to.
