How do I act?

[Surviving03]

So... we are having a GREAT weekend! The dinner date was fun, we ended up going on a double date with some friends and the sushi was amazing! Then we went over to the friends house and played some games and had a few drinks, it was a good time. Next day, my H had to work, and while he was at work he sent me a couple of really nice emails telling me that "he knows he has alot of work to do in this marriage and it might not all happen overnight but he WILL do what needs to be done so that he never loses me"..... !!!!! amazing!! Made my day....

I am working really hard to not discuss any R stuff right now and just go with the flow and have a good time with H, so far so good! One misstep yesterday was that I was going thru and cleaning out my inbox of my emails and got to reading some of the emails H sent me when he wanted a D, and some emails that I forwarded to myself between him and OW from his email.... and that put a downer on me... but I let myself feel down for a few minutes and then brushed it aside in my mind so that I could move forward, and not backwards.... tough thing to do

I am also working on not trying to be a mind reader and try to interpret everything little thing H says or does and twist and turn it in my mind into something its not. If he is tired when he comes home from work, and I think he is not being all lovey dovey and what not, I am telling myself it is not because he doesnt love you, its because he is TIRED! I am learning now more than ever what it means to understand that you we make ourselves happy, other people cannot MAKE us happy. It is important how you REACT to things in life, if you make things in your mind worse than they really are, then they will turn worse then they really are... does that make sense... when i just relax and stop worrying about why my H is not cuddling up to me or what that means?? does that mean he doesnt want to be with me?? does that mean he doesnt love me?? does that mean he is changing his mind about us?? when I stop doing that, shortly there after I realize that its just cause he is tired or whatever and before I know it, he is cuddling up to me, or saying something nice or loving.