Your H sounds like he is feeling very sad and confused, which is probably exactly what he should be feeling, given what has happened in the last year or so.
You are very strong and supportive to him, he is really lucky to have you. Really!
Do you think he's forming any sort of strategy in his mind yet, for how to move forward with his life? Or too confused? Or just hoping it all falls into place?!
HB - thank you so much...your posts are very enlightening....I really appreciate you taking the time to write (((HUG)))
About suicide....yes it worries me especially when he was talking that way last few times that OW broke up with him. Both times he told me that if it wasn't for D & I he would just want to go to sleep and never wake-up or wishing that his plane would crash (told me after a trip) or that he doesn't care what happens to him but will not do anything about it because he couldn't do that to D.
After this last, final break-up although he is depressed, miserable and is obviously struggling with it all...so far he didn't bring up suicide. One recent statement about "wanting to get over it and get on with his life" makes me hope that he wouldn't do anything stupid.
I wish that H believed that he is in MLC and was interested in reading some material that could help him. In the past I did talk to him about MLC but he just dismissed it.
Quote:
Where the MLC'er will make a mess is by looking at OUTSIDE influences to blame for his/her discomfort within the emotional pain that is being experienced
H feels that everything that's happening to him is because of the affair and not that the affair happened because of his emotional state.
HB - could he be in depression and withdrawal at the same time?
HB - thank you for caring, my best wishes to you and your family
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Hoping, libby, Cw & SCH - Thank you my friends for stopping by.
Your words of support and encouragement are very much appreciated:)
Not much new here - yesterday H called me a few times...still sounds very depressed on the phone. Today he's coming to work on the garden with me....we will see how he is.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
H feels that everything that's happening to him is because of the affair and not that the affair happened because of his emotional state.
HB - could he be in depression and withdrawal at the same time?
Hopefully, he'll be so miserable that he won't EVER do this again, even after he comes through everything. The Bible says you will reap what you sow for a season, and God doesn't specify how long that season will be.
Yes, it is possible to go through multiple stages at one time while in MLC.
OW Withdrawal is a mini stage when an affair has happened, yet it is possible to suffer other stages while going through this, too.
Have a good one.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
Pretty uneventful weekend. H worked in the garden with me for about 2 hours yesterday. He was friendly and pleasant. No R talk... just small talk.
He brought his laundry to do...well he had to run back to work and all of his loads weren't finished yet. Said that he will comeback for his laundry later. In order for me to continue with my laundry, I had to finish his and fold it for him (no ironing). That peeved me off a bit. It's one thing for him to do his laundry here and it's another for me end up doing it.
Come to think of it I guess it's my fault so I shouldn't be upset. I could have just taken his out...do mine and put his back in.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I remember my H bringing his laundry over to be done too....most of the time I would end up doing the same thing, but he would always fuss at me for folding it for him....well, now that he is back, Im still folding it, but he doesnt fuss anymore....some things never change! lol
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Some things never change lol. Did his laundry for over 30 years. When he left he was little lost...had to learn how to operate a washing machine and buy detergent.
I could bet you anything that H will say "you didn't have to do that" when he picks it up. I will have to justify it (needed to use the machine) so it's not perceived by him as mothering.
Last edited by Mila; 04/26/1004:49 PM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
