Well, time passes, and things change, and things stay the same.
WH is now asking almost daily to reconcile. Or he STATES that we ARE together, and have never really been apart!! Now he says he has never ever been with anyone else !!!! That there never was anyone else !!!! That he is decorating his apartment because he needs somewhere to live while we sort things out. ???? He spent 2 days here working on my garden, it looks great, and wow did I ever need the help. Wants to spend weekends together as a family. Wants to keep his own place in the other city. Thinks his job is in trouble. Gets angry when I don't let "us" move forward. He started verbally criticizing me when I don't do what he wants, and asap.
Personally, I still have no idea how to deal with any of this, other then to ignore this confusing rollercoaster speak that he comes up with, and try to do some work (which is very hard because I am totally distracted by it all), and be good to and enjoy time with my kids (which I really do!).
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
The more they stay the same, the more I worry they will be just like the worst times before he walked out on us.
The more I think about how awful it was right before he left, the more I don't want to do it anymore, and then I push him away.
If I push him away I am sad and want my marriage back, or what I thought my marriage was, or what I thought it could be, but wasn't.
