My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[nicole8]

well I did do something very stupid yesterday. I left a message for the h that I was sorry for my behavior the last couple of days. I said I was sorry for the accusations and rudeness because that isn't who I am. I also told him it wasn't fair to him because he has so much going on right now with school and work. I also told him when he had time I would like to meet with him and bounce a couple of things off of him.

WHY did I do this? As to be expected he hasn't responded. I am going to wait him out and see when he next contacts me. I know I acted all tough yesterday and said that I have come to terms with what is going to happen will happen. Well, I am now having reservations again about it. I feel like my h needs someone to be his friend and to have someone to lean on. He is in such a weird confused place and I would like to be there....yet he knows where I am and what my phone number is. I also wonder if he does still know he can come home and that I don't hate him. These are things I want him to know. Yet when we talked the other day (when I was rude and accusing) he pretty much said that it was unfair to me for him to have done what he has done and still remain married to me. Isn't that a decision I should make or more like we should make together?

Ahhhhhh, I am so confused today!

On a brighter note I did make it to the gym today for some treadmill and eliptical time. Actually kind of fun!