CW, I feel for you, it's the same sitch I'm in except that my H is letting his half of the house go to S26. We haven't even had any of those 'talks' yet and knowing my H's avoidant personality we may not until he goes to make things legal and faces opposition from me as to how things are handled, ie; having only one L handle divorce, etc.
It is hard to remain hopeful when there is nothing to base it on. I have seen nothing from my H to indicate that he is having any second thoughts except his outward appearance. He looks gray, drawn, old and very tired. His eyes tell the story of a troubled soul. Were you able to get a look at your H's eyes?
Mila is right that when your H moves in with ow and real life sets in, when the fantasy they've had becomes reality and they find out what they've really got, then the rose colored glasses will shatter. Let the consequences of what they've really done set in. I'm betting there will be no real peace in their souls.
I think you handled the conversation with your H wonderfully and you gave him some things to think about. Watch out girl, your strength is showing!
