actually I would leave the conversation with this little tidbit, "we need to get together to discuss actual custody arrangements going forward, you have decided to move the kids to your apartment without my permission or approval or discussion, we need to discuss an actual schedule that is fair with me and you, I will want shared custody of my children, that's means I want them at least 50% of the time and I want a set schedule so that I know when I have them so that I don't have to drop my life whenever you need a break from having the kids, we'll share them 50/50, you'll know when you have them and you can plan to go out when you don't have them as will I."
And don't budge on this, if she mentions lawyers and other such crap, tell her that you expected this and look forward to those negotiations.
You see, this is counter intuitive, she would expect you to be afraid of all of this, you have to always appear to be happy, awesome, super and that life is great and that her leaving you is HER LOSS. NOT the other way around.
