Yeah, I was iffy on that one also, Allen. I have decided that I will take the high road. It would be very, very easy to take my mom's advice and let him know that I have men interested in me. I'm not trying to sound like I think I'm all that, but I'm a very pretty girl and a lot of men do nice things for me. Especially now that I'm losing weight. I've had many gifts given to me, many men chase me, even several that would follow me in my car until I reached my destination (nice looking men, but creepy maneuver). I could definitely make him remember why he chased me for so many years back when we were just friends...
I thought it through before doing it, and since I'm basing much of my feelings on marriage on the covenant I feel I have with him before God, I thought the high road was the only way. Setting an honest and adult example is the only way I want to behave. I want to be able to hold my head high when this is over, irregardless of how it turns out. That is now one of my N.U.T.S. - LOL (thanks Puppy - just gave that book to my DSS20 who is getting involved with a girl he's had a crush on for YEARS - since he was 8 - and is trying to control him.)
Besides, H is in such a dark place right now that even when I take the high road and behave with total honesty and integrity, he's totally projecting onto me and ASSuming that I'm just as dishonest as he is. I can take the high road and on some level, I think he'll know it's who I really am - and if we reconcile, he'll respect me for it... but in his dark place now, he is still jealous, still thinking I'm seeing other men, every move I make, every friend I see without him there, every new item I bring into the house - in his mind, they're all potential gifts from suitors and potential liaisons. LOL - I don't have to do anything to him. In his twisted mind, I'm just as dishonest and as much of a cheater as he is.
