I honeslty wouldn't HELP her, I would just tell her she's not welcome there anymore...
If YOU PACK or get involved in any way she will just tell everyone that you THREW her out.
If you confront her and she refuses to end her affair... then SHE is choosing to leave the home...
Its a VERY important line you need to draw here Ken.. SHE needs to accept the choice of leaving or ending her affair...
BY refusing to stop calling him, she is making her choice.. YOU need to accept that and ensure she exits the home at this point.
First thing you do Ken is lock up the finances.. she WILL take advantage of them if you make her available to them.
Second... start packing up her things... Tell her she is making her choice and if she doens't want to be part of this home anymore then she must LEAVE.
Ken, I honeslty don't think it will go that far.. you have kids right? I can't see it going that far... she just needs to start seeing you dismantle the home and she worrying over finances and being apart from her children.. I think that shock will likely get her to commit to a No Contact agreement with full transparency.
WARNING : Do NOT pursue this without a Family Therapist negotiating. Make sure that you don't just take her back because she yet promises AGAIN not to call him... if you take her back blanket like that she will KNOW you were BLUFFING...
You need to SHOW her you are SERIOUS.. I think if you do show her you are serious by packing up the home and doing everything to oust HER from the home and away from her kids she will agree to see a FT and commit to a No Contact agreement with the Therapist...
I do NOT reccomend you try to negotiate that one - on - one with her... she has to commit to a THERAPIST too... YOU aren't enough.. she is remorseless about this Ken... do not take her back wtihout her commiting to a FT as well
I would have a serious talk with his guy IN PUBLIC yet AGAIN
