Well might have GAL too much last nite. local bar had hot oil wrestling and i just couldn't resist. me and my buddy shared a couple of pitchers of beer. He drove me back to my truck which was a couple miles from home (when we left i told him maybe he should just take me home.) Well got pulled over 200' from my driveway and got a fricken dwi. Unreal my stupidity. I usually am very good at laying low and sobering up before i drive, but i totally lost track of time and made a really poor judgement. Well W came to get me out of the clink, my first ever issue with the law so i hope they take it easy on me. We had a nice talk and she really showed how much she cares for me still. She was shaking and scared and was very happy that i was o.k.
Anyways i told her i had a lot of time to think and that i want to know which way we are heading. I said i am ready to give love another try. Either with her or someone else. If we are going to try she will have to quit her job (because of om) and I need her to be an open book in order to build back trust. I said if you don't want to work on us that is fine, but i need the divorce done then so I can have a real relationship with someone else.
She said she is going to do some real thinking and make a decision for us soon. This is what we have going for us as i see it. We still love and care for each other. We have taken a lot of time to really work on ourselves. I still have a small fire of desire for her. We both see each other as physically attractive. She doesn't really feel anything for me, but she is "in love" with her bf.
I was told once that you don't feel healthy and then go running, you go running and then feel healthy. The same thing goes for the "in love feelings". First you have to really give the love before you can feel it. Don't know what to say. Just enjoying myself even with all this b.s. in my life.
