My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Dan1977]

OK, I did it. I blocked this guys number through ATT's Smart Limits feature. I'm sure she will know what's up and it will turn into a confrontational argument, but I don't want it to go there. I would like to calmly explain to her that I don't want this guy in our lives dictating the outcome of our of our family. She thinks I'm controlling her and it makes her resent me even more, but I'm not trying to control her I just don't want her talking to her ex.

Today was an ok day, I dropped my son off at school and picked him up, but while I was gone she was texting him. When I was down stairs playing with my son, she was upstairs texting him. I feel underhanded and sneaky, but it's no worse than what she's doing. I'm afraid I will push her away farther and quicker, but I also feel as long as this guy is in the picture, it won't get better anytime soon. She will continue to be confused and not clear what she wants and reminded everytime she talks to him she's not happy with me.

I can't understand how she thinks divorce will be fine. Today when she was leaving to go to her moms, she said she was going to miss her babies so much. I reactively said "yeah, it would suck not being able to see your kids". She took that as I was giving her a hard time for her going to her parents, but what I meant by it was that it will not be happy times after a divorce when we won't be able to see our kids like we do now. She's dissillusioned that everything will be fine after a divorce, the kids will be fine and we'll still see them just as much. I contend that it won't be, it will be completely different, no more vacations together, no dinners togethers, no playing together, no camping trips, trips to Chuckie E Cheese together and on and on. Maybe I am doing the wrong thing by trying to justify it, but it's my first instinct to do because she is so convinced nothing will change and it's worse on the kids if one of the parents isn't happy. So far to this point, we have great kids, very respectful and well mannered kids, so I don't see her side of it. After a divorce, I can't see how they will be better off, I just can't see that and there's no way I will be convinced of that.

I look forward to more of your comments, I'm struggling bad and I feel like I'm day to day not knowing what is coming next. I have my kids tonight while she's gone and it's a complete thrill for me, and at the same time it makes me so sad to know on the horizon I may not be able to see them as much. I will get the raw end of the deal like most fathers do, so it's easier for her because she will still have her babies most of the time. She tells me she doesn't want my money or the house or any of my stuff, but that is not what even matters to me. Losing my children and my wife is worth a 1000 times more than those material possessions.

Everyone's help is greatly appreciated !

Dan