What do I say when she asks about the imaginary OW? She will want details from me if she is giving me details. Do i tell her it was all B.S.?
She will feel like I tricked her. That would not be good.
BTW, I am not going to let her come back because of this. This is only the first step. I'm also not going to give in to sex:(
why are you worried about her feeling like you tricked her? Didn't she have an affair with another man and try to hide it from you? Why are you still so worried about her reaction? She had the affair, you were cheated on, what's with this mindset you're in? Snap out of it.
You don't tell her anything about the "other woman" who currently doesn't exist, she asked to speak with you, you didn't ask to speak with her, you have no requirement to tell her anything and if she doesn't want to talk you tell her "that's fine, I was actually busy right now, preparing to go out, talk to you later", you don't ask to speak to her another time, you let her initiate that, you don't pressure her to talk, you let her spill the beans because she wants to not because you're forcing her.
Why do you feel the need to disclose information to your wife? Still sounds a bit needy and insecure to me, stop it.
In a real relationship they should be able to see our weak spots without attacking them or using leverage. We know the ways of a WAS is an entirely different creature...
Yeah he probably does not say anything, because even if the ball is not all the way in his court it is damn much closer than it could be.
He shouldn't give that up. Even make it a reality, that there is one or some that he can go to. Thats how these WAS are, they need that pressure.
I've been doing alot of thinking, WAS usually have dozens of pressure points and leverages, how to remove or reverse all of these on them, and is it better to do all at once, or over time... Its the only way.
How to change their perception by what we LBS bring? We definately know we can't say it, but theres alot we can do.
Hello all. I see it’s been about three weeks since my last post.
A lot has happened in that period of time. We had the talk. It went as I expected it would. She was honest with me. Something she has never been in the past. I will come back when I have more time to fill in the holes.
S8 has started baseball, and the schedule is brutal. Between baseball, work, and all of life’s other distractions I haven’t had much time to jump on the forum. I think I needed a break also. Give me some time to absorb and process things.
As I said I will explain how I got to this point later, but as of last night my wife has decided she would like to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work.
We have not sat down to talk about what that will entail. I told her I needed some time to think. I didn’t start jumping around and kissing her feet. She asked if I wanted to still make things work. I told her I didn’t/don’t want to think about it until she made up her mind on exactly what she wanted to do.
She knows it will take time, won’t be easy, and in the end we may decide to end it.
What do I do next?
I’m not letting her move back in right away. I don’t know the process of moving forward from this point. All of my effort was put into getting to this point, I never thought it would get this far.
I plan to read the chapters in some of the books I have pertaining to this subject. I would also like to know what the community thinks the right approach should be.
The advice, wisdom, and help you have all contributed to me has done more than any other resource I tried.
I thank you. My family thanks you. You truly have changed my life for the better.
Thanks for brightening my day, Jake.