Originally Posted By: Dan1977
Knowing my wife, aggressive behavior or having ultimatums will backfire in a heart beat, and I believe more passive behavior will work best.


WRONG. This will not work.

Reasonable people can differ about different aspects of DBing and affair-busting, but I'm pretty certain that "passive" isn't in the description of ANY of the successful methods, or their various hybrids.

There is a whoooooooole range of behaviors, stances, statements and actions that you can make in between the black of "moping"/"on the verge of meltown"/controlling/accusatory, and the white of "calm, confident, assertive and detached."

It is in that GREY that you will find your most successful approach, Dan.

Puppy