James, all you are doing is providing more and more excuses and background information. At this point it is not necessary.
You have to take control of your own life. It should speak volumes to you that your W blew off COURT ORDERED IC AND MC. She made a choice not to go and now she must either (A) make a different choice or (B) suffer the consequences. Either way, it is her choice to make.
This is not about anybody "deserving" to fall to the very bottom. Being at the "very bottom" is for the most part a very direct consequences of the poor choices we make. Nobody wants to see anybody fall apart but at the end of the day there is nothing you can do about it. What you are doing is enabling this behavior. It is hurting you, your finances, your children and every aspect of your life. You are the only person that can change that.
Let's say you had the opportunity to get your children back but was denied because your W chose to NOT do what was necessary and court ordered. Once again, you enabling her destructive behavior will have a grave and life long effect on you and your children.
You keep trying but the way you are approaching this is not the right way to go at this time. If your W chooses not to get treatment there is nothing more you can do but live your life AND remove her from your life. Texting, calling, sex and lunches out will not change a thing except show her no matter what she does, you will be there and she is free to act how she pleases because she has you right where she wants you.
