I know it gets frustrating waiting for someone to respond. People are reading and thinking about you, rest assured!
Anyway, IMHO, it sounds like he is still trying to ease his guilt by blaming you and accusing you of playing games. Don't get sucked in. This is you from yesterday:
" I will admit that when I woke up this morning, I had D on my mind. I just kept thinking to myself. How long can I actually go on like this? this limbo? how long will I be able to put up with it? I'm not done yet. In fact, I feel as though I am the strongest I've been in a long time. I still love my H. there is no doubt about that. But I love myself more. I haven't felt that in a long time. I lost myself for a while"
As hard as it is, try to hold on to that. It is a roller coaster and he will do everything he can to bring you to your knees. Don't give him the satisfaction!
It's all easier said than done, I know. You can do it. (((THA)))
