I think now is the right time to tell him. Having a classmate that is going through a divorce will help him feel that he is not alone. BTW... My son's middle name is Nevin - I think it means something like water or navy in Thai.
It seems Nathan is coming about as close to asking as a 7 year old will. I think it may be time to tell him. I know, it's going to break his heart. But, it's got to be done.
I like the idea of telling him Daddy didn't want to be married anymore works pretty well. True, but no real trashing. Someday, I think the kids will figure it all out. But they don't need it now.
I agree, Nathan is asking in the only way he knows how. Kids are pretty intuitive, they figure it out. About 8 months after my X moved out my daughter, who was 9 at the time, asked me if daddy was done divorcing me yet. She knew what was up. LOL
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Also I am starting to worry (well not worry but can't find the right word) about tonight's outing...
My town is a typical midwestern small town (maybe it is small towns everywhere, who knows?) in that gossip is the fuel the city seems to run on...my parents know i am going to the party bc I asked them to babysit...ditto MIL bc she offered to have the kids Friday and I told her that my parents would have them and why--wow I share way too much info in hindsight!
Anyway Dan knows as well. However none of them know I am going with GG...the other party goers will be local people I went to HS with and their spouses...the fact that I come WITH someone will be my first public outing with a guy besides Dan...my other dates took place in Omaha and I did not run into people I know...
So anyway I am thinking it will probably go through the grapevine that BBJ was out with another man!
Should I bother giving Dan a heads-up? I had asked him for the respect to tell me if he became serious with someone, and to let me know before the kids met her. I am not bringing anyone around the kids though...
Yeah, my first thought was 'he didn't bother to tell me he was seeing someone WHILE WE WERE MARRIED, did he'...
Ugh, almost don't want to go now.........not bc of Dan, I think more I am upset about the prospect of telling my Nathan his mom and dad are divorced...he has hinted around about it seven ways to Sunday and I fear he will get mad at me for misleading him by not telling him the truth already!
You don't have to tell him when it became official. Just tell him that you felt he needed to know that you and daddy are now divorced. You could just say you know that it is hard for him becaue he wanted you together, but you are also sad that it didn't work out that way. Be as honest as you can without too many details (or name-calling as tempting as it may be.)
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Whether you go tonight or not... you should probably still tell Nathan. I think you are connecting things that aren't really connected, though indirectly I can see that they are.
