What if she feels empowerment through the betrayal, and does not think she should feel regret or remorse. Actually there is not a smidgen of regret in her. What then?
Currently she probably does feel some empowerment and once that fades, regret, which is already there will take over and pave the path to remorse.
That said..............
See this is where I got worked up yesterday. All too often on here I see too many LBS who proclaim they love and want there WAS back so badly, and yet throw brash comments out that their WAS is "an alien", "is un human", "has no feelings". I have stood up many times before [even before I knew first hand from my own WAS] and am going to again on behalf of WAS' [as I became one at the end]. It is so arrogant to assume these things. Yes, the WAS puts on a show, be-littles you to everyone they know, re-writes history and portrays the world is a far better place without you, the LBS in it. But what do you think happens behind closed doors? Do you NOT think there is a conscience there? Do you have any idea how many times they break themselves down when someone asks them just what in the world they think they are doing? Do you have any idea how much it pains them when your children ask why they are doing what they are?
I had no idea how much self inflicted torment my (x)W put herself through behind the scenes. I can say and as I allaborated on in this thread, what 'any chance' sees on his wifes face, her pain and depression, it's real. You can look at every one of my threads wher that very same look on my (x)W's face just puzzled me. At the time, I didn't understand it either. And then just as most are doing here, the responses were that it was "all part of the act".
It's not.
I wish my (x)W was not so anti-computer. I really think her input to some of these situations here would be invaluable and one hell of an eye opener to most. Conversely if she saw half of what people say in general about WAS's, her tenure on the site would be VERY short lived.
Yes, she did putrid, hurtful and unspeakable things to me and our family as a whole. But I will tell you, behind closed doors, she was in more pain then anyone for what she had done. There are still and will probably forever be random moments, out of the blue, where she just falls to the floor crying and practically begging for forgiveness, of which I had already given her.
The actions of mine, yours, and every other WAS on this board are life altering FOR EVERYONE involved INCLUDING THEM.
Some peoples conscious is broken. Others are straight evil or have become so, they are filling a part of their self by their betrayal which is by conscious choice. What do you do then?
