Thank you guys for all your advice and compassion. I think we are calling it quits and I am in agreement on that. I just don't trust him and never will be able too, no matter how hard I try. Some marriages are not meant to stay together. I wish you all the best of luck!
So I am back sorry I have issues with things and am mildly Bi-polar. I really do want my marriage to be saved but am just so stupid sometimes and do so well then do so bad and everything turns into a fight and blame calling.
Katie: Hang in there and be strong. I completely understand the bipolar issue - one minute I want my M to survive, the next I think it is hopeless. The OM in the picture again has currently sapped my strength and my will to continue. I hope this changes. Look for the positive. I know I am.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
I am trying to look for the positive for sure, thanks for the advice. It is just so much easier to let my emotions get in the way and then that leads to an argument. I did tell him to tonight I thought it would be best if he stayed at his friends house instead of staying here, I think he was a little suprised by that.
I am trying to look for the positive for sure, thanks for the advice. It is just so much easier to let my emotions get in the way and then that leads to an argument. I did tell him to tonight I thought it would be best if he stayed at his friends house instead of staying here, I think he was a little suprised by that.
Look for the positive, sure. But don' t leave out looking at The Reality. Katie, you have to be smart. You are very wishy washy and this is going to eat your lunch. One day you are telling us you are done and good luck to us...the next you are back and this is so hard and emotions are preventing you from making a good decision . Vent if you need to but if help is what you need and want - set your mind to it.
What can we help you with? Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I guess I just need help with how to control getting angry with my H when I am around him? At times I feel very good about everything and no matter how it turns out I will be totally ok, then there are times that I feel like I will not be able to make it if we don't stay married. H has also told his mom, brother, cousins, friends that we were divorcing so that makes me feel that the future may not be great for our marriage. Especially since his cousin he told our friendship has been non existant for almost 9 months and she doesn't really care for me and neither does her H. So I am sure they are giving him some great ideas on how to get out as soon as he can. I don't know just help with everything I guess, thank you!
Katie, the first and most important fix to put in place is to not allow your feelings to drive what you do. This will never yield a good result for you. You must think through what you will do. And so much of what is RIGHT to do will be counter-intuitive.
So who cares what your H tells others? He does not call all of the shots. Right now what we are going to focus on is what is good for Katie. Decide on one thing you will do just for you tomorrow. Then do it. Also, do not take any calls from H. Do not answer texts or email. It will be a H-holiday.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I understand. He tells me earlier today that he is a very needy person when it comes to being given affection from me and that is where he says hurts because I don't do that and haven't for a very long time. But if I try he pushes me away and if I don't he gets mad because I am so happy even though we are going through this hard period of time. So you think I shouldn't answer any calls or texts? What do I say when he asks why?
