Well, last night was fairly pleasant. I got home and the kids all told me about their field trip they had for school. I listened to them for a while in the living room then went into the kitchen where W was. She said hi, are you hungry? I said yes and she had a plate made for me. I stuck it the microwave and she started telling me about her day, about work, and just general conversation. This after two days of not looking at me. I listened and validated and didn't inject anything that could be taken the wrong way. Basically just listened.
I guess the moral of the story is: The pros are of course right on. When I pull away, she is drawn in. It may take a few days, but it ALWAYS happens. I get so caught up in immediate gratification that I don't alway see the big picture. PATIENCE!! Also, consistency. My changes have to be there day in and day out. She can be a jerk, I don't have to put up with it.
It's embarrasing to think and read my older posts and realize how scared of her I was. Don't get me wrong, I still get scared at the thought of losing my family. I know I can't be scared of her anymore. Consistent, calm, cool, confident, in control. All thing that I have taken way too long to learn. Let her spew if she want. It doesn't have to control my mood or my actions. I never realized how co-dependant I was. What a fool.
