Going over your sitch, I feel that you are making small, positive moves in the right directions. You are trying and thinking of 180s, which is good. Your H definately appears to be a person who retreats fast when he is pursued. Although it is the hardest thing to do, keep giving the space and not pursuing.
From day one of DBing, I always kept in mind that while saving your marriage is not guaranteed, you are guaranteed a CHANCE of saving your marriage. I know that paperwork/agreements, etc make it that much harder. That is ever more reason to keep on GAL and focusing on yourself.
Try not to wonder how the situation came to what it is. Continue to look at today and tommorow and what you're going to do today to improve yourself.
Silence from him is hard to deal with, but you must maintain that silence until he breaks it. If the man you dated formerly brings some serenity to you, or gives you hope that you can get through this, go with it. But, take it slow.
