Katie, Be smart. Be strong. Take a pass on making any decisions based on emotion. Be clear. And if there is something you need to know before making a decision...then find out.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Oh definitely easier said than done, Katie. It's 100% easier to be stupid than to take the time and brain power to make a good decision.
You don't have to act cheery. No problem withdrawing your attention from him, being aloof. He usually draws closer to you when you do that, anyway, doesn't he? The important thing is that you figure out - poke around - to find out what is going on!
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
He never keeps it unlocked I guarntee you, he even takes it with him in the bathroom when he takes a shower and if he doesn't it is in the bedroom charging but in locked position.
This is NOT normal. At least not normal for people with nothing to hide. We all see the signs that your H is cheating. You don't want to believe that he can do this, but trust your gut.
The others are right. It is best to act rationally from a plan. No, it's not easy. But no one said it's going to be easy. Doing the right thing is often very difficult.
You don't have to be Polyanna, just don't go to the other extreme and be rude or mean. Try shooting for indifference or like your cohabiting with a roommate. You can cry, scream, whatever in private.
Bottom line is that you can choose to ignore the signs or you can choose to do something about it. Check out the quote in my sig line.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
He never keeps it unlocked I guarntee you, he even takes it with him in the bathroom when he takes a shower and if he doesn't it is in the bedroom charging but in locked position.
This is NOT normal. At least not normal for people with nothing to hide. We all see the signs that your H is cheating. You don't want to believe that he can do this, but trust your gut.
I agree 100%, Pearl. 100%. And Katie's H is COUNTING on her being too afraid to do anything about it. How wrong he is...right Katie? Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
He never keeps it unlocked I guarntee you, he even takes it with him in the bathroom when he takes a shower and if he doesn't it is in the bedroom charging but in locked position.
Sounds just like my H during his PA. He even would keep it in his pj bottom pocket when he went to bed.
PDT gave me the same advice about a wayward letting their guard down and you know what... one day H left his cell phone unlocked in the bedroom while showering. I was prepared and I found what I needed to confirm all my suspicions.
And Pearl would tell me trust my gut feelings too. And it was dead on!
PDT gave me the same advice about a wayward letting their guard down and you know what... one day H left his cell phone unlocked in the bedroom while showering. I was prepared and I found what I needed to confirm all my suspicions.
What did you do after you found the evidence you needed about your husband? I am sure I can find a time it isn't unlocked but what do I do if I find something on it that confirms my suspicions?
What did you do after you found the evidence you needed about your husband? I am sure I can find a time it isn't unlocked but what do I do if I find something on it that confirms my suspicions?
Don't do anything right away if you gather info to confirm your suspicions. You will need to formulate a plan.
If you have the urge to confront H, come to the boards to vent. This is a great place for advice and support.
