Thank you for supporting me that he doesn't know what he wants. Even though he said he wants to be broken up, his actions sure do confuse. It makes me feel good to imagine he may be confused. That always means there's still hope.
I"ve adjusted with the fabulous support from the boards and some other things. I got on some mild anti anxiety meds which does wonders. I got a dream job - part time for now, with room to grow - teaching music to children. My play opens in ten days and looks to be agreat show. The board friends have encouraged me to be more dim. As hard as it is, I am trying to let go.
On the down side, I can barely eat. I'm losing a lot of weight and can't stop smoking.
Going dim is bringing up a lot of childhood trauma, which i am trying to focus on recovering from, instead of chasing my H to love me and take care of me.
