When we talked the other night, I told him to come get his stuff (as I mentioned in an earlier post). I was angry when we talked, and I let loose with my angry feelings more than I have (though I didn't say anything that I regret). He remarked with surprise that he had expected me to get angrier before now.
Would apologizing for your demand to get his stuff be a 180? Following Flowmom's idea...which person was the one that he loved when he married you?
Quote:
So now, the question is how I should act. Do I act like it's fine if he goes? That I'm glad to see him go? That I wish he wouldn't?
Isn't that your hardest decision? Whatever you do, always look for evidence if it is helping or hurting. Do what helps. Personally, I think honesty is always the best policy. Nice honesty doesn't mean saying everything.
Quote:
Because I'm not totally familiar with your time line, did you leave or did she back in October?
Oct-She said she'd leave when the kids are grown, I asked if she wanted a D, she said yes, so I told her I was divorcing her. I moved into an in-house separation. Since then, I have been the main force trying to get things working, despite the fact I was the one who decided to leave and I didn't even love her - not even at the start of our M (I do now). So I'm the WAH that tried to pull my W back and find ways to love her. Go figure.
Quote:
I'm wondering if I should leave this (and him) alone for a while. He seems so convinced that D is the only way, and I don't want to exasperate him with my hopefulness.
You're right - don't flood him. Still, move closer a step at a time - fight for the opportunity, then if he floods, back up only one step.
Do what IS right, even if it hurts. You'll never feel guilty for that.
