Soaring Solo 2010

[Gardener]

Livid journaling again!(Part Two)
I apologize for being overly wordy (moi? Gardener? Wordy?) This however, is my longest post in 11 months.

No doubt, some of you remember this following post from just five days ago:(I will attempt to shorten it, somewhat)

Livid journaling again!
Today I am both showing the house (Open House) myself without my Broker (long story) and showing the upstairs Master Bedroom Suite to potential renters.

X shows up with some paperwork during one showing. I had asked her to call before coming over which she, of course, ignored.
I good-naturedly told her about the four sale showings and made the mistake of saying I have the MBS advertised for rent. She replies that since I may be realizing income from the place, she will not have to give me money towards expenses of the house any more.

Oh, no, no, no, says I. The damned Connecticut formula is so f'd up that despite her leaving me to come up with her half of house mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, upkeep for 17 months (covering an additional $1,500-$1,700 per month) to keep this place afloat so she can get her 50% of the proceeds when it's sold, her housing expenses went DOWN by $500+ when she moved into her apartment. Difference between her expenses and mine is about $500/month, so she only has to give me half of that difference - a whopping $240 - every month. And even that I do not get monthly: it will be in the form of a credit to me when the house is sold.

I told her I've been breaking my a$$ monetarily and physically to keep this place up and to spruce it up for sale while she does nothing.

She said (once AGAIN) that she offered to come back in December and take over if I moved out and that I agreed and then changed my mind! (how dare I?) I asked her if she was also interested in discussing the seventeen "agreements" we had that she changed her mind on after she left the house! No, of course not. Besides, she did not leave the house (that fog fiction, again!), she left me.

I told her to talk to her lawyer, find the non-existent stipulation in the divorce agreement that she "pays" less if I generate rental income to stay alive until we can sell her and my house. Told her it ain't gonna happen. As a matter of fact, I have logged over 350 hours of non-"normal" maintenance and sprucing up work to sell this place and I'll pursue reimbursement for that if she wants to start playing games.

Also, told her that since the divorce decree gives me sole responsibility to making sure this place stays in show-ready condition, I want her to getthe rest of her sh!t out of my home now so the basement will look more open, less cluttered.17 months and two apartments later is long enough for her to continue to "store" stuff, here. Fine, she says and took a few items she could fit in her car. She said she'd be back for more. "Not today," I said. "No," she replied. "Good," I said.

I then said in the future do not come to my home without my prior approval as stated in the divorce agreement.

Tonight, she sends me this email:

Gardener,
I spoke to (Mediator) about your plan to rent the rooms upstairs. She regrets not having addressed this in our agreement since the house is owned by both of us, but she is willing to help us negotiate how to proceed.
Of course this is open for discussion but, I thought I would send you a list of my concerns.
Please consider these points:

We need to find out about increased liability and insurance (if necessary) before anyone can move in.
No one can move in without a formal lease—even month-to-month.
Both our signatures should accompany the renter's on the leasing agreement.
The proceeds should be shared by us both. (Mediator will help us determine a fair split.)
I feel it's only fair you have this information so you can think about this and prepare for a discussion. Mediator can arrange a phone conference with us both.

Please let me or Mediator know if you will participate.

Thanks,
X

MY immediate, I-have-friggin'-HAD-it-reply? (.CC'ing Mediator)
(And no, I did not, could not, would not wait 48 hours):

X,
I will no longer entertain or attempt to rent the upstairs.

Despite our separation/divorce agreement - and your reluctance or inability to face the simple economic fact that your monthly "nut" is - and has been for eighteen months - equal to or less than it was before you left. Mine is - and has been doubled.

And please don't give me that tired old mantra about me changing my mind about letting you move back in December unless you also want to discuss the fact that you said you would never live here again regardless of our outcome - and then changed your mind. And unless you want to discuss the seventeen agreements you proposed regarding our temporary separation which you promptly and systematically reneged on.

I am handling the doubled expenses of carrying this house - with extreme difficulty - in order for there to still be a house to sell so that you can share in the proceeds, a fact that has - and continues to completely elude you. It is unfortunate and quite disappointing that your greed - and need to pursue legal counsel on same - has put an end to my plan that would have greatly eased the burden of keeping this house going until it is sold - for both our benefits.

If renting the upstairs means you'll receive dime of the proceeds, that is enough for me to permanently eliminate it as an option.

It's off. I am pulling the ad. There is no way I will rent it now.

And since you're all about equity and fairness, I would like to hear your proposal for compensating me for the over 350 hours (and related expenses) I have spent thus far in painting, sprucing, mulching, planting, clearing brush, seeding lawn, making repairs, etc., to better stage this house for sale while you do absolutely nothing to contribute in that effort - a concerted effort which must be done to facilitate the sale.

(Mediator, I will contact you in the near future to discuss recompense for this considerable (sole) effort of time and expense on my part.)

X, with the rental now out of the equation, I respectfully request that you do not contact me at all unless it pertains to any of the following:

1) Our 2009 tax return.
2) The house sale.
3) Any stipulation in our Divorce agreement.
4) Your obtaining access to the house for your possessions or
5) Matters of life and death.

Gardener

As I've crudely said before in one of my past posts: "Eff me?? Eff you!!!"

And, funny, but my one post tonight (before getting that email) was going to be, simply: "Realized today that I have actually been feeling quite happy lately. Boy, it's been a while!"

(Actually, still am, despite this)

Sorry for the record-setting length, friends. Thanks for reading.