BD says it -- there is no way a man can justify to his family and community walking out on a pregnant woman, so he'll come up with paltry excuses. Cowards have something to cover up - and they'll try anything on. Like Cheaters - they lie, they twist the story to gain acceptance and to normalise their behaviour to their peers and lovedones.
Sounds like you handled the sitch calmly, but a bit confused about the don't talk about him unless he dies. Do you mean, you're done with talking things through with other people?
On this point: for a long time, I consulted other people (family and friends, especially on WAH's side) about our sitch - I wanted to know "the truth", and I though they could help me with new information that was being withheld, or could at least help clarfiy my thoughts.
Then I realised that they probably - if not surely -knew less than me.
I think it's important at a some stage, to actively avoid hearing what WAH's is saying to other people.
What he says to them is for their ears, not yours.
And often, none of it makes sense.
I think you and WAH are closest to knowing the truth.
DB - go to the first thread in Newcomers: Quotes from Divorce Busting. I think you'll see what the correct take on DBing is about. It really helps me to refocus.. and it's taking so much time to sink in.
