Keep Moving Forward

[Gardener]

gima,

We started with mediation at 10:00 am and did not leave until 9:45 pm. That's right, nearly twelve hours!

WOW!

I think I feel numb, relieved, sad, angry, resentful, hurt (good bit of that), compassionate and a little scared, all at the same time.

I understand.

I have already told W that this is HER decision and, thus, SHE will tell the kids (with me present, of course) in such a manner that does not imply I agree with the decision or that this was a joint decision. W is very concerned I will tell them she filed for D - her L told her at that point, "Mrs. GIMA, they are going to KNOW that."

Good for you for sticking to this. This is key.

At one point yesterday, despite my negative emotions towards my W, I actually felt sorry for her. And I had to fight the urge to save her from this.

Some deep feelings die hard. I found this out when I confronted X's landlord for sexually harassing her a full year after she moved out.

Anyway. I grabbed a later dinner last night, then home. Had a "download" of emotions lying in bed, but I knew that would happen. I know I obtained a fair agreement, and I will probably be happy about it sometime later. But, it's hard to be happy right now. I want my family together, plain and simple. I know that's not possible, but it's the truth. So, I will swallow hard, clear my throat and just put one foot in front of the other. What else can I do? The sun will come up tomorrow just like it did today and the day before that.

I know I can handle it, and I know I will. It's just going to be rough for a little while.

You can handle it, gima. You have. You will.