I will respectfully disagree, OIN's thread has benefited from a variety of viewpoints regarding a situation that is similar to his own in many ways. He would have to browse and read content from several different threads to get these opinions and viewpoints, this thread benefited from all of this recent action, it gives OIN alot to think about and absorb for his own use.
On a side note, 'thread hijacking', what is this?! it's not like something is being stolen, the thread still exists and is still here and like I said, there is alot of benefit derived from all this activity.
Nothin' wrong with that. Congratulations on you busting your D.
Actually, I guess I miscommunicated. Our M is not in tact. It's not busted. I'm taking away me as an option.
I just don't want others to take this long to reach decisions. It's painful.
Read that part in bold, that's the attitude to have, it shows you respect yourself, it shows you acknowledge your own value as a person, and it communicates this effectively without saying it directly to the other person.
I'm sure those in need would be interested in hearing all the details of your journey.
You HAVE been getting the details. You just aren't listening. I LIVE the advice I give.
I won't share my wife. If she finds someone else, then I WILL let her go and she knows it and vice versa. I would not try to win her back because there is nothing wrong with me now. I will not be with a woman who tells me, shows me, acts like she doesn't want to be, or chooses to not be with me.
She stays out of complete freedom of choice. Total and complete freedom. I am a great catch. So is she. Neither of us is perfect. She could find a man in a day that would treat her wonderfully. I would have no problem finding another woman that would treat me just fine.
So you see. She is NOT the only woman in the world. Why would I WASTE two or more years of my time with a woman that had an affair on me and moved out and told me she wanted the other man? And to top it off, why would I then WANT to spend time with a depressed person for months on end? The one depressed pulls the other person down. They have to to feel better about themself. Why would I allow that when I would prefer to be with another happy person?
And since when does depression suddenly equal that they don't love you? Why wouldn't they say to you if you had a good relationship.."Honey, I am depressed, but I want you to know that I love you and I am sorry for pulling you down?"
THAT is how it happens in a good relationship.
How do you know that YOU aren't the cause of her depression because she doesn't want to tell you again that she just doesn't have it for you? Maybe she is thinking "is this all there is, I know how hard he tries but I JUST DON'T FEEL the way I want to feel for him"
You see Bond, you are not willing to let her go. Her actions have shown and continue to show that her heart is not TOTALLY in the game with you. That isn't how women want to feel. No wonder she is depressed.
So Bond, "my details" are in my advice. Love works far far better when it is given freely and out of choice and not out of duty. You just won't let her go and yet you keep talking and talking and talking about "not one size fits all"
And I keep tellng you, NO, not one size fits all. BUT in YOUR case, the Gooch is right. I have read every word of your entire threads. Watched and observed and sat back and keep seeing you doing it YOUR way. Again. It doesn't seem to be working.
I will respectfully disagree, OIN's thread has benefited from a variety of viewpoints regarding a situation that is similar to his own in many ways. He would have to browse and read content from several different threads to get these opinions and viewpoints, this thread benefited from all of this recent action, it gives OIN alot to think about and absorb for his own use.
On a side note, 'thread hijacking', what is this?! it's not like something is being stolen, the thread still exists and is still here and like I said, there is alot of benefit derived from all this activity.
You are right BUT I am not getting advice for my sitch but rather for a different sicth than mine. I have read that all sicthes are different but yet very similar. I have a WAW who I did not treat so kind for a very long time. I pushed her away (literally, some of the things I told her are just outrageous). Refer to the very first post of this thread and then please provide advice directed toward me about our sitch, I would greatly appreciate that.
What I have been doing has worked somewhat. I have only been trying this approach for 1 week, 4 days. If you go back in this thread I linked to my old thread that was locked where I received other great advice which I did follow and got me this far. Things are NOT where I want them to be but certainly FAR BETTER than they were a month ago.
What exactly is "gucci's way"? I am curious to what you suggest about MY sitch.
Thanks again.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
this is what gets me, everybody's situation is "unique"
"but you don't understand, my situation is different than the rest on here"
Love hearing this all the time.
Unique.
Let's see, married couple, marital problems, possible separation/divorce looming, already in progress.
Involves a man and a woman.
Some of these situations involve another person, the infamous "other man" or "other woman", and these horrible people are stealing your wives & husbands away.
"I love you but I'm not in love with you"
"My spouse told me they wouldn't ever have an affair"
"My spouse would never lie to me"
"My spouse is not interested in sex anymore, it isn't me, they just don't like sex"
"There is no one else in the picture, if there was, I would know about it"
"My spouse wants me to move out of the home"
"My spouse wants me to move out of the bedroom and sleep in the basement or couch until I find an apartment because they want me to move out"
"My spouse is really mean & angry toward me, they're very disrespectful"
"My spouse goes out all the time with their friends, comes home late, never calls, never wants to spend time with me anymore"
"My spouse spends alot of time on facebook lately, I noticed a new friend that I don't recognize, this person sure comments on alot of what my spouse say, they sure seem to enjoy each other alot"
"My spouse seems to be working longer hours and has unexpected meetings and business dinners"
"My spouse started talking to an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend on facebook recently"
Are you getting the picture? I could go on & on. Nothing is new on this site. Everything is really just a variation of a few common themes.
