When people start mentioning and criticizing my own personal sitch in someone else's post that's an attack.
And besides I've never said that one way was better than another. Everyone is different and if one person chooses to do it one way and not the other, it's their choice. It's not a matter of poor self-esteem or whatever.
It's a choice. Guys have to respect that if you want to be respected in return.
Actually I would encourage you and SM to also check out the survivinginfidelity website. Alot of hurting people in there that could learn a thing or two from you both.
is there more than one way to skin a cat, maybe.
Alot of people on these forums may not appreciate the direct approach when being given advice, they're hurting, they want compassion, they want relief from their personal pain and they come here looking for the magic pill that will fix all of their problems, asking questions, asking for advice, doing nothing that they're told and continuing to ask the exact same questions over & over again in endless variations.
Is there more ways than one to db? Maybe.
But after several months of no change in a specific situation, when you do you sit back, evaluate what you've done and admit that what you're doing isn't working so what is the problem with trying something different. If what you've done hasn't worked, is it so wrong to attempt something different from what you've done to see if it may work or do you hold off from doing something different because it doesn't "feel" right and isn't aligned with the kind of person you are - take into account that the kind of person you are is also the same person your spouse is leaving.
