I'm gonna go back to not contacting her unless it is related to the plans we already have.
This is where you should be "practicing" your deep rooted issue of cancelling plans. I don't think it was just cancelling plans. You also seem to do the same thing with "going dark", "LRT" "leaving her alone" "not leaving her alone"... etc..
You say and make "plans" on how you are going to handle this situation you are in and then you seem to want to "change those plans daily.
Why would you make plans to do not one, but TWO things knowing you have this issue to resolve? Either STOP making plans or learn how to keep them. This emotional all over the place is a symptom of your cancelling plans. One day you are not going to talk to her, the next day you want to send an email. One day you ask her out, the next day you want to cancel..
This isn't just about making plans. I would venture to say you do this in most all areas of your life. You question in your mind many decisions you make...
The thing that concerns me about the zoo date and the camping trip is that you have made "plans" in your mind that you are not going to bring up the relationship or talk about getting back together. Once you are with her are you going to "cancel" the not talking about the relationship or the getting back together plans you are making? Beware because that seems to be the root here. You better do some deep soul searching NOW about disciplining yourself not to change those promises you make to yourself on how you want to act during those meetings. You are proned to "cancel" plans.
